March 1st, a date that will haunt me forever...The day I told the Drs not to operate on my mother...an angioplasty....but she was too weak from the angiogram the day before.....The Dr told me that he will do it anyway because she signed for it..and he killed her. Its the day I became an orphan 18 years ago. I entered the room when they were pounding on her chest....then they stopped. Her DR (not the surgeon) walkaed over towards me, tars rolling down his cheek....I knew. I said to him, "just tell me, is she gone" He nodded his head up and down, meaning yes"
My mind was talking to me, as if it was a seperate entity from ME!!! I or it said, "I am going with her..." Then I went blind with my eyes open, and slowly slumped to the ground. I "saw" the blackness. which is hard to explain. I passed out, yet conscious of the blackness. I soon heard voices that said, "dont move him" I felt myself being raised in the air...put on a table, and wheeled away. They said"his blood pressure is at stroke level. Get him into the elevator to the ER"
They gave me some sublingual pill....and in an hour, they took my presusre and it was down, and released me. It was a nightmare...but I didnt wake up from it. My mother was dead. I walked out into the hall, where a freind, who was to meet me at the hospital was there....I went with him and his girlfriend....It wasnt until we got to a restaruant, I told them my mother had died, and I almost died too....but I remembered....as I was in the darkness.....I felt very good and peaceful..when a very arm feeling cameover me and sort of pushed me back to life.....It wasnt my time.
The night..after midnight, when it was March 1st, I had a dream that I was in PAterson NJ(Ithink) when I looked to my right...and saw and explosion...the dream at this point was in black and white, when I usually dream in color....this explosion turned into a mushroom shaped cloud. I then came to the realization that an atomic bomb went off, and soon the nuclear storm...hot winds....and debris would be hitting us in seconds...like a giant tidal wave...and then I saw it comeing,,,I couldnt outrin it.....and then it hit!!! The dream blacked out....and then I awoke. Now the dream was in color.....I knew that I was out for a week..and didnt eat...But I was ok...and couldnt understand that. My dog Buddy was there too and ok....I didnt have any car..and didnt know how to get out of there....there was still some snow on the ground..but I didnt see ANYTHING else..no buildings nothing..!
In the morning, I realized it was March 1st...and thought the nuclear explosin...the disaster and devastion was a creative or poetic representation of the day my mother died....On this MARCH 1ST.
WHEN I WAS A BABY.....I THINK I WAS IN THE FIRST GRADE, I RAN A PEPETUAL FEVER...so my mother one day took me to the WOMENS AND CHILDRENS hospital in NYC>..after my pediatrician a woman named DR ELKIN..(how I remember this beats me?) suggest to MOM that I had reumatic fever or reumatic heart! We enter the hospital, then interviewd by the Doctors.......and then Mom told me to go with them and that she would be waiting outside in the waiting room....They took me away and started tests......and more tests...and then put me into a room with other children....Night fell. and no MOM, and I was abandoned!! Something happened to me that day and night....The shock of beliveing that my mother dumped me in a hospital....I was scared and cried. During the night Drs and nurse came with a giant syringe...and game me an injection that hurt horribly......they explained there was a disease runnign thru the hospital.....I asked for my mother...and the nuirse said she would be there in the morning.
Morning came...no mother....but relatives came. My great Aunt, who was married to Esty Lauders Uncle...came to visit me....My Great Aunt ANNA>..my grandfathers sister, who was a Hungarian AUnty MAME..SHe drank, smoked, gambled and was an international semi famous fashion Designer......I loved that lady.....she was warm,funny.and loving.. She broughtme a present...A cowboy hat, and a leather hodler and two cowboy guns...
The next morning, the nurses woke me up, washed me, and brought me my cowboy hat and guns...They told me an actress was coming and I was chosen to be int eh newspaper with her.....dressed like a cowboy. Soon, in came a very pretty lady, with her tits falling out of her dress, and photogrpahers with big speed graphic camers.....follwing her/////She crawlled into bed with me, my face almost being pushed into her cleavage.....She said Hello honey, I am Jane Russel...and here for a fund raiser for this hospital...I was so embarraes at the tits in my face, I couldnt speak... The took a slew of photos....and left. The nurses told me that My picture would be on the front page of the NEW YORK MIRROR......but I never saw it..People over the years told me they did see it..but, I nver tried to access it....the paper went out of business..but I bet somewhere the photo exists... With Me, Jane Russel and her lovey pair of tits....that HOward Huges devised a very special brassier to support those lovely red tipped puppies.... Not sure what came first..Her bra, or the SPRUCE GOOSE....the largest wooden aircraft ever built....It might have been almost as big as a 747..dont have the stats at this moment..
Jane died on Feb 28,...so her Death Anniverysay.....(Yorzeit) is one day before my mothes...so I can say a prayer for both of them on MArch 1st of every year. I was hoping to meet her again....maybe someday in the sky
A VERY DELISH MEXICAN BURRITO.....GRILL EGGPLANT, ZUCHINI, ONION, TOMATOES, GREENPEPPER,SCALLION,ASPARAGRAS(BOIL FIRST) USE WHOLEWHEAT TORTILLA, HEAT ON GRILL WITH A BIT OF OLIVE OIL....LAYER YOUR CHOICES OF VEGGIES...SPRINKLE WITH ADOBO, GARLIC POWDER, CUMINO..THEN COVER WITH GRATED CHEDDAR, MONTERAY JACK, OR YOU MIX OF FAVORITE CHEESES..BE GENEROUS. MICROWARE THE TORTILLA OPEN,,,WHEN SHEESE MELTS (ABOUT 2 MIN) REMOVE AND ADD A GENEROUS AMOUTN OF FINELY CHOPPED CILANTRO, AND SOME MORE CHOPPED RAW ONION AND SOME RIPE AVACADO..SALSA AND SOUR CREAM..ROLL THIS BAD BOY UP, COVER WITH SOME MORE SALSA....AND DEVOUR IT. IT IS A MEAL INITSELF.!!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment