HOLIDAYEVE

Usually the night before thanksgiving....late at night, when the TV if off, all music has been also shut down, I sit and think of the past year....and then reflect back upon my life, to see what I have to be thankful for.
Does this sound corney? The mindset of some radical religous fanatic? No... I was going to say that I am just some average guy, who takes the idea of giving thanks seriously....but giving thanks unto whoM?
But I will retract my first statement....for I realize I am far from some average guy. I mikght have started out that way, but somewhere, I did a turnabout....I was barely an average student in high school, yet while taking dummy ENGLISH....business English....I ignored the teach and her letter writing, and sat in the back of the room writing poetry or writing a play or a musical, which I hid from her...But when we did read Shakespaeare....I perked up and enjoyed the intellecutal stimulation.
They said I wasnt smart enough to take physics, or advanced science, but I would sit and daydream about forces or energy in the universe that could be collected somehow ,into batteries or directly into an energy system....that this energy was created from the BIG BANG , day one, of the universe.....Little did I know, this was a very similar theory to the one by TELSA, one of the great minds...and this project would have been created by him, but THOMAS Edison, sqashed his dreams, but cutting off funds from investors. We would probably not even have the energy crisis, if that evil Edison would had let this project develop.
I am not saying that I am any kind of genious,but....I was so put down by teachers and guidance counselors in my first 10 years of school, that I had developed an inferiority complex about my intellectual ability....they almsot had mebeliving that I was stupid.
During high school, I not only wrote poems and plays, but I produced a musical comedy with VICKY POSTAL a dear freind of mine...I became a professional photographer and created very artistic free lance work, and for profit took photos at weddings, bar mitzvas and other events.
I loved baseball...but during a SUNDAY SCHOOL picnic, I was knocked unconscious by a line drive to my head....a hard ball no less knocked me out...and a week later, it happened again..Aftger those two events, anything moving fast infront of me made me blink, and jump and I was "afraid" of moving objects. I wasnt able to get into little leage and even in school, I could no longer play sports. I was afraid of the ball.!
SO, with being made fun of for being a lousy athete, being told by teachers that I was stupid....and then, hating what I saw when I looked into the mirror, I suffered horrendously, until I got into high school....when my marks improved, friends increased, and my self image started its rise.
In college I was asked to start a Fraternity....and made many friends quickly. I enjoyed the stimulation by harder courses....like Comparative anatomy, all types of psych, and even economics...I got A's and B's, but not in MAth....I failed trigonometry....well, I refused to study things I didnt like andmadeno sense....If I even went on to becomne a Doctor...which was a dream...when myh confidence increased" I wouldnt have to do any trigonometry, unless I would get into some type of brain surgery....and even then..probably NOT!
IO transfered to the University of Kentucky...a brave and sudden move for a kid who couldnt make decisions.....and to top it, I won a scholarship for part of the tuition. I was tested and did very well, and rated in the top one percent of the nation...in INtelligence. (but not typing and spelling)
My ability now to make freinds, even though I was a yankee from the NOrth...increased. My self image was getting stronger...but my hair started falling out...and that didnt help the self image.....and then depression set it.. At age 19, the hair was thining,,,,,and that was very difficult to accept, when I had hair like Elvis.....HAD....was the word...had.
After graduation from college, I found myself teaching English....a profession that I had not dreamed about..but because I hated English courses in school, I understood how the children felt about it too....My commiseration, somehow turned me into a good teacher....I explained to them I understand how they feel, and if we worked together, we could make it not only palatable, but fun. I showed them how all of us have poetry with in us..and how to express it. I taught them, or rather showed them dont be afraid to experiment with words, take chances.....that it doenst have to be perfect....use the language, build your vocabulary....reading is fun...but mostly I tried to inspire them to be creative...AND DONT LET PEOPLE PUT YOU DOWN... HAVE FAITH IN WHAT YOU ARE DOING.I rarely used the red pencil to cross out their mistakes.I tried to teach them not only subject matter, but attitudeabout learning, and even themselves. I knew what the teachers did to me....and I tried encouragement.... as a tool.
Looking back from that point, I would think of my parents who were good simple honest people. They werent relgious at all. Nor was I brought up to be anything more than a decent person. I wasnt encouraged to go to relgious training after my 13th birthday. I wasnt forbidden to drink or smoke....They always told me if I wanted to drink or smoke to do it in the house. The Wine, and liquor was always in the kitchen closet. My mothers cigaretes were alwasy on thekitchen counter. DAD's pipes and cigars were in a humidor in the living room. I once treid cigarettes in the 8th grade and just didnt like them. I never once, even was curious about drinking wine or booze...It was always offered to me at a wedding, barmitzvah, or when my family had company.....and I never wanted any.....the first time I had a drink. an apricot sour, was graduation eve, and wash shocked that one of the kids parents gave them to everyone....WOW we were not 21 and could drink.
My parents were kind. Generous, but not rich. I never wanted for anything....I didnt have many toys, nor did I really care...not compared myself to anyone else who might have had more than me. I wasnever into having to have special clothing, or shoes, or jewelry... I had no one to impress. None of my friends were like that either...We were freinds and no one (male or felmale) had to impress ones good friends....and How lucky I was for this, yet really didnt realize how lucky I was..till years later.
My parents never bemoaned their finantial position. We had just enough. They were contgent. I was content.. We were happy. And I didnt realize how wonderful that was till years later.....My parents never made ethic slurs. They didnt put people down becuase of race, nationality or religious beliefs. I would be lying if I said there werent any jokes about other groups..Of course there were, but they werent malicious...and I grew up to accept everyone....Maybe I question belief systems....but without malice. They didnt evenmake a big deal about political parties....Nothing ever was said about the republicans.....in a negative way....as now.....They were both DEMOCRATS andbelongs to the Democratic party,,,,my MOM even went to meetings...and I do remember the people who went to the club....They were like cartoon characters...and I was amused....but they did have fun.
If you are still reading this, you are probably wondering where this is all going...and what it has to do with THANKSGIVING>...but please bepatient...it does.
I taught school for 9 years,...I was smart enough to buy a house and pay it off, and built a business, which is the largest of its kind in NJ...although,now the struggle is immense. Along the way, I picked up a cast of characters....who became my new DISFUNCTIONAL FAMILY. There is GLEN, his brother JOHN ,Miss Dorothy, Miss Cythia, Mikey, Juan, Eddie, Rich, BOB, Pancho, George......and many others..who are notonly employees and friends and family....but in a mystical way, they are also my Guardian Angels.
Alsong the way I had experinces that made me grow...from Almost being a father...to Romantic Episodes, that scarred the heart, but when healed made me stronger. This scarring pushed me to write poetry which I am very proud of...whichprobably would surprise those who are reading this uncorrected blog. I also was able to write a novel that was accepted by RANDOM HOUSE by one of their top editors....who will print it, when I finsih editing it to my own satisfaction.
From being a very shy person, with inferiority complexes that would have wond a trophy if one were given, I becdame an auctioneer who cango up infront of a crowd with all confidence...and jopke with 500 people without stage fright...and I even learned to dabble in politics and can make a speech without notes in front of many people...without saying "and um" uh.......I can talk to a crowd better than the PRESIDENT of the UNITED STATES (which isnt saying much) I can express myself...and at one time, almost decided to run for office....but I have enough to do....and am far to honest...I would have been eaten alive.
Now I will try to draw this thanks giving babble to a conclusion. I have been blessed with a fine family, great friends, a good profession....I was lucky enough never to have desired to be hugely influenced by material things, and although I own a veryh materialistic business....I dont strive for the Giant HOme....or homes, boats, the news cars... I am so thankful that myh value system that was given to me by family and other friends.....realizes what is really important...Family,friends and health...if you hae that...that is happiness. MONEY doenst make you happy, nor does diamonds, and other things of value. My happiness lies with those that surround me, my good memories,and future hopes and aspirations for me, by family,my freinds and my Country. This is what I am thankful for.... HAppy Thanksgiving to all.....